Super Sonic Brunch


Okay, I had to max out the Frog Boyz credit card. How else are we going to get those Gucci Frog Boyz sweaters? How else are we going to get those Frog Boyz shudder shades? The authentic ones, we had the little logo on the side. That looked pretty dope. You can’t- You can’t deny how good those looked, man. I mean… Wait, dude shut up. I know that guy from somewhere. Oh! He’s the guy from those commercials. You know? He always says… “Diabeetus” I have no idea who you are talking about. But… that’s definitely the Undertaker. That’s not the Undertaker. Remember the guy from the Partridge Family? No, that’s not Danny Bonaduce, but close. That’s Paul Giamatti, bro. Is that Mr. Sideways? No. Is that Yosemite Sam? No, dude, I saw a picture of Yosemite Sam recently on TMZ. He does not look good. Oh! That’s um… the guy from SNL. Uh, Mr. Subliminal. Uh, he’s in a bunch of Sandler movies. Uh… Kevin Nealon! That is Kevin Nealon. That looks nothing like Kevin Nealon. It looks exactly like Kevin Nealon because it is him. No… I know who it is. That’s that guy from Sonic the Hedgehog… DR. ROBOTNIK FROM SONIC THE HEDGEHOG! He heard us. Oh, he definitely heard us. Yeah, he’s looking over here. Should we go say hi? I guess we have to now. Yeah, it’d be awkward if we didn’t. Are you Dr. Robotnik? That’s just a character I play. My name’s Ellis Driscoll. You’re British? Uh, Irish. I love the Beatles! Is Sonic British too? I’m not British. And the original Sonic is an actor called “Tyler Garrison” He’s from Toledo. Wait, are you and Sonic friends in real life? Uh, we’re not mates, but we get on. Hey are you pissed that Jim Carrey took your part? Hi! Uh-huh. Lucinda Driscoll. Yes, um, his wife. You know, crazy thing, right? Ellis and I used to be able to go out and people would respect our privacy. But now that this movie came out and has everyone nostalgic we can’t even celebrate our tenth anniversary without a whole bunch of slack-jawed idiots treating my husband like a zoo animal and ME like I don’t exist! Congratulations. Ten years? Oof. Happy anniversary! Yeah the big ten! You guys are killing it. That’s better than my parents did. Your parents are divorced? Yeah, they’ve been divorced for like a few years. Do you guys want to take this somewhere else? Only if you two are coming with. Take a bloody hint, you twits. Okay Ellis… Remember what the counselor said about breathing. One… (exhales) Two… Oh, dude he’s getting pissed! Stop egging me on! Meltdown at the chemical plant! Piss of wanker! Oh! That’s messed up. Bullocks! Hey look it’s Tyler Garrison! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! (screams) Oh!! Looks like Sonic’s had some work done. Ah, God damn’t my screen’s cracked! My screen’s cracked too. Now how am I going to preach the importance of mental health to my Instagram disciples? I’ll kill every last one of you Barbaric nincombots!

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